Three Decades

Three decades of witnessing sun and moons
Three decades it has been
Recalling each hard stone
That hit the core and caused a sore

Three decades of walking on plains and rocks
Three decades it has been
Computing the amount of saline
That dropped from a twin well

Three decades of chasing home
Three decades it has been
Thinking this child has not grown
Coz he hasn't found the realm of his own

Bees on Chains

Two bees meet on a sudden
Sip the brewed nectar from a decade-old porcelain
A potion that unlocks the chains
Of painful past and challenging beginnings

It took a 5.5 hour to travel from alpha to delta
It was great travelling through time
Not through the speed of light nor sound
Rather, on a degree of trust and honesty

Mirroring has changed the game
A pain for a pain
A knowledge for a knowledge
A belief for a belief
A love for a love

It was no ordinary day
It was beyond work and play
Two bees celebrate on a 8/8 day
Then back to their own hive
In a solitary and content lives

Fragment

The world does not end with a broken heart
Yes it's true, it may seem it is
But it isn't
Yes it's true, it pains to death
But alleviation is attainable
Yes it's true, you have no idea when the hurting will end
But believe me, it will eventually end

At times you drown with your own tears
But im not saying stop crying
If you read this and you still cry?!
i say, just cry :(

Now nothing makes sense
Advices from someone saying "move on", is always easier said than done
The real pain of a hurting person is only understood by the person itself
Noone can ever understand exactly how it feels
No one ever does
Yes no one can ever see
The vast sadness and longing that dwells within

Another night of crying is a night closer to moving on
You may gone out of tears but never of pain
I am not saying to suppress it
i say, just feel the pain, the worst of it

Travel the roads you used to with someone, with someone new
A friend, a stranger, a crush
someone that makes you romantically happy (a bit ? Perhaps)
It's not erasing memories
It's recreating on a different angle
Believe me, it helps

At the end of day, you still feel the same?
Then you are still in a cycle
Of Nightly tears and fragmented pain

When is over, over ?!

Guess the war is over
Wreckage is all over the place
No more deafening siren calling your name
Flame has gone out of every ceiling

Bloody rescuers had vanished
Irate heartbreaker had calm down
The debris of each burnt piece has cool down
It shatters when kissed by a firefighter's sole

I've learned to flash a smile on top of a frown
Only those in the same boat can notice
It's no surprise no one noticed
Coz i've mastered the technique of fake believing

I soon will forget how to fall
For the love of you had long been over
The memories may be as lucid as before
But the pain I can barely feel and recall

These years

Brume starts to clear after a decade of shower
The sky appears brighter at edgeless horizon
The sun rises with a golden face
And welcomes the night with a blissful face

Everyday is as fresh as dew
Excited to sip through each and every life elements
Deep into the soul of experience
Is a little child inside a grown man

Never noticed days goes by so fast
Now pacing through the fourth decade
Now it's clearer and better
The zillion needles has loosen from the deeply pricked cover

Tough and gentle this man has become
Tactless and frank at times
These what yields after an arduous challenge
In this realm of difficult makind

Still

I got no choice but to embrace the blanket
That is now colder than it did before you came
Drinking whiskey to feel the warmth
But just cant feel its warmth
Travelled to peculiar places
But only to find familiar memories at every corner of the road
Like we used to kill time and never care what tomorrow will be
Like I used to feel you in my arms

Now I am sick of being stuck in this crossroad
The arrow sign has been dilapidated
I have forgotten where I am heading to
Only left is me with extra load of pain

I follow where wind blows
Hoping to find relief at its tail
As i follow its track
It drags me to bushes and can't hardly bounce back
The pace of time is slow
The sun sets on a mourning hue
Where are you
My still you

Mistake

You were a mistake
A painful mistake
Which started as a pixel of undetermined feeling
Turned into a definite mistake

I have used all my energy
Trying to make this right
But just cant
Really cant

In the beginning, You were a sweet mistake
I embrace everything that came with it
Flaws and obvious impecfections
Everything about you were just a turn on

There were days we talk
There were days of silence
A Day of silence
Felt like a decade of absence

I tried not to to care
But it just made me care more
I tried to forget
But it just made me remember more

Now I hate every inch of you
You made me forget who I was before you
Now I hate every memory of you
It just pops everywhere I go

Dont know when this hating and remembering will come to an end
This heartbreak and achy feeling
Now beats with the melody of a melancholic song
Which we used to sing as a happy song

Restore and Revert

This is me
Same heart
But without you in it

This is me
Same mind
But Without you in it

This is me
At Same place
But without you by my side

This is me
Finally letting you go
And embracing life without you

Unfinished Business

When you are near
Something inside me recognizes you
I tried to hide it
But It was totally difficult to imprison
Something inside that wanted to take a peek of you

I get more nervous as you draw closer
I can't seem to breathe
I feel the air passing thru every of part of my lungs
I am sweating of cold type
The fight of wanting to go or wanting to stay is at play

I like the view that I am seeing
But it also brings me back to the time of darkness
The time when I hated myself that I can't get to make myself hate you
The time when I give up the fight not to like you
The time when I fall for you and felt like a one way ticket to Mars

I've waited for this moment
But I was suprised that I am still disturbed by the feeling of yesterday
The joy and pains
Awakened and still remains
So I sigh, I underestimated the force that you were giving
Now it's driving me to sleep thinking

Love Dictionary

Yes comes before No
When caught by strong desire
You comes before Me
When a man decides on you

Distraction is out of the dictionary
Of a deeply in love man
What is logically retained
Is Destruction comes after Love Construction
Betray comes before Cry
When someone found a new ally

As Love comes before Hate
When all of a sudden, You're travelling on a road of uneven
Sadly, Antidote isn't readily available
As Antidote comes after Poison
Flipping the process, No man is capable
When poison overruns a man

At Large

I always glance back at you
Even if everything between us
Have been buried and dump
Long time ago, I have detached from you
Living a solitary life
You have no idea how difficult it was
Forcibly pulling my roots to die
To kill what's inside me
I felt sorry
but it was the only way
To start living and have a clean start
I guess it wasn't clean enough
For it haunts me up to this day
Hitherto, I still care and it saddens me that I still do
I would have missed more
If I haven't known you
I try to deny the idea of you
But everyday reminds me of you
I guess it is still you
And it's always been you

Numb

Noone has put a tear into a man's well
It's you and it's always been you
Deeply I sigh
How did I fall into this well
Now all i see is abyssmal wall

The tiny light seen from below
Tantamounts to a tiny possibility
To be with the woman who resides in the dimension of illusion
A woman who lives only in my imagination

When the darkness comes, the light sleeps with the night
All by myself in this bed of molten rocks
But I don't even feel any ill
These sadness developed in your absence
Has strengthened the numb feel

Filth Gem

The Queen bears a child
A Prince from a far away land
The King believes the Prince is His
The Queen knows who the Prince's sire is

The Prince grow up under a knight's keen eye
Knight keeps an eye for the Queen
Both secretly meet at the garden of Eden
Away from the King's vast homeland

Outside the kingdom dwells the enemies of the King
Foxes, Heina are Knight's bestfriend
Both worlds are ruled by a single Queen
Both worlds will soon be ruled by Prince turned King

The truth is preserved King after Kings
The truth remains as a filth gem
Prince's true identity is buried in a haven
In the Knight's and Queen's garden of Eden

Stress Buster

Head breaking
Stress overflowing
You towards my direction facing
It's like instant healing

There is that something in you
That I can't explain
That turns my dull day
Into a special day

Something inside me
Recognizes something in you
Every bit of my blue
Has disappeared when I see you

I don't have a clue
If there will be me and you
All I know
Is that I am into you

Seasons and Chemical

Green leaves of spring and summer
Will soon disappear
Replace with dry leaves of autumn
And lonely winter chill

In the days of winter
To touch a skin, and feel its warmth
Is humanely normal
Without it, it's insanely paranoidal

Glad that I live in a tropical
When struck with a type of chemical
Love that's what it's called
By the young and the old

Initiation

It started with a Hi
An exchange of ordinary greeting
An exchange of smiles
Never expected a future exchange of numbers

Phone on hand
First message was Hi
It took a while for a Hello
I bet I knew

I was a stranger to you
And you were too
Constantly I throw and continuously you catch
I guess we match

Look up! , We have just decorated the sky
The dead space above
Is now painted with black and glitters
With our countless exchange of letters

Underneath

A man of words becomes a mute
When the girl passes by is some sort of cute
Pretending to be unaffected
Underneath feelings skyrocketed

His eyes meet hers
Trying to avert
Pretending to be by accident
Underneath loves the presence of her

His skin touches hers
Trying to lift it up quickly
Pretending to be by accident
Underneath his actions are pulled towards her deliberately

Target

I didn't mean to be caught by you
Under broad daylight watching over you
What I really mean is to let you know
What's underneath me is shouting all about you

The signal I sent is pretty clear
I doubt if you've read it
I guess you've missed it
And so, I repeat it

This time I miss the target
And send the signal to a wrong target
She caught me by the eye
My face was filled with red dye

As quick as the clock's tick
I look up, left and right
I turn my back gently
And pick-up the embarassed me

Bittersweet

Will you be mine?
It's a popped question
Aye is a skyrocket to heaven
Nay is a skydive without a parachute

The unknown yield makes life exciting
Fear for nay
And a doubtful aye
Don't you know, it's just the icing

True flavor is tasted when the cake is naked
Made of a various flavor in this world of flour
Crumbled, rolled, twisted on a baker's table
Even the perfect pie is baked over a heated core

Embrace the brownies covered with peanuts
If it's what yields from a supposed to be mousse
Brownies may not be soft and smooth as mousse
But still gives sweetness from an imperfect life's juice

To sift through pains
Is an experience gain
To be a better player
In life's next game

Right and Wrong

The man wakes up at the wrong bed
In a garden with a single flower
The man leaves the flower in a tattered dress
He leaves her with a shattered heart
Both at its best when apart

By the time the flower greets the sun
The man has disappeared together with the dew
Both continue to live in a border
Both continue to dance through the night
Till they meet again in the garden of beer and wine

As the man says hello to a new and tougher flower
This time the man wakes up on the right bed
With an innocent flower
Whose dress is not tattered
Nor her heart is shattered

Reap

Glass windows closed
Covered curtains resist the outside lighting
The room is dusky blue
The man is lying, remisnicing a once good spark

Someone knocks the door
But the man is not ready
The surprise awaits for him
But he refused, Perhaps he's tired of the game

He's focused on his wants
He's focused on his needs
He's nursing a seed
And protect it from weeds

When it's time to reap
The frutis of a fruitless tree
That has reached its roots down the mantle
Reaping through the ways of gentle

The man levitates
As he walks his path
Noone sees it
But the man feels it

Leap

Adaptation is instinctive
Acceptance is penetrative
Arduous thing to fight for
As the sheep learns to put on a tigers fur

The sheep grow horns as days go by
Not because it's intrinsic
It's a situation call rather
To shelter the greater matter

The core is as pure as a virgin
The crust is as corrupted as a toxin
Still able to grow a fruit of plenty
On this earth full of cruelty

Now is never early
For centuries it has been planted in the society
Some have conquered the nation
Some have died without the attention

To lavish in the darkness
Has its pros and cons
At times the dark is as colorful as the crayons
At times the dark is ruled and devoured by demons

To cut through the emptiness
Is the ultimate shortcut to happiness
May it be short-lived or long-lived
In the darkness, the sheep is not ready to leave